It’s almost 3 years since we lost our beloved Mirri.  The first year dragged by and I lived in total fear that year. Fear for what our future held, fear for how my husband was coping, fear for our whole family really.  The second year got a little better and once Graham and I shifted to our new home things picked up and improved a lot. I think it’s because we have new surroundings that are peaceful and healing in themselves.

This past year has brought a mixture of things.  It started out ok and things were moving forward and Graham and I were enjoying being here in our new home very much. We still are. But he had an accident some months ago and that changed things yet again. It’s like the old constant we once had will never be again and we keep adjusting trying to find a new ‘normal’.  Is it like this for everyone as they grow older?  I suspect so in some ways.

I’ve had challenges too both on a personal and business level.   Personal because once again I lived in fear for my husband and what our future might hold. I know I should have a stronger faith and I pray constantly but it doesn’t stop me from worrying or being panicked now and then. And then I had someone attack my business via my shopping cart and I became an unsuspecting victim who is still trying to get things back on an even keel.

And yet there is still hope around the corner. I’ve made new connections recently for my business that look promising, Graham and I are making friends at our new church and settling in and feeling like we belong. We’ve been there a year together now. And we’ve found that three of our immediate neighbours are really lovely people who are only too willing to hold out their hands and arms and help us in times of need.  They all barely know us but they have accepted us as a part of their lovely community.  It’s lovely to feel like we really belong somewhere and we really do feel that way. Belonging is so important and part of the human need, don’t you think?

Anyway, the third anniversary of our loss is at the end of this month and I know we’ll be having our sad days and thoughts once again.  It’s not that we don’t think of Mirri often – we do, but her birthday, the anniversary of her death and Christmas tend to heighten those feelings of loss. I wonder how all her friends are doing? Used to see them a lot on Facebook but only see a couple regularly now. They seemed to have moved on with their lives, which is a good thing for them.  Anyway, I’m rambling…