Our new Christmas Tree

After years of having a pine tree Graham thought it would be nice to get one of those fibre optic trees which light up of its own.  We hunted all over the local shopping centre and he checked in town as well but we just couldn’t find what we were looking for.

Then yesterday, on the way home from our youngest daughter’s we saw a Christmas shop so decided to drop in, on the offchance.

What a magical shop that is!  So full of the most amazing things, Christmas lights, roof decorations, normal decorations, miniature models and so many other things. And the fibre optic trees we were looking for. The one we liked is a 7ft bauble tree and we had to buy the display model as it was the last one there.

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Well, that was 2008 for the Thomases

The year started out well for us, we all had our goals and managed to achieve most of the things we wanted to do.  Graham is enjoying his work, I’m loving mine and completed a new book.  Mel and Ryan are enjoying married life and Melanie now works at home making bridal and formal wear, which has been a life passion for her.  Meredith has completed uni and is enjoying an overseas trip before starting a new job in the new year.  Miriam had a great job and was living with friends not far from the city.  Christine completed the teaching at Box Hill that she came home for and is making plans to move back up to the country to work with horses in the new year and Angela and Ben are busy working on their home and looking after their menagerie of animals: a snake, 2 dragons, 2 rats, cat, and pig.

But at the end of September our happy lifestyle was rocked to the core when we lost our darling, beautiful Miriam and Graham and I struggled to make sense of it all.  It should have been a wedding and not a funeral.  And we’ve been limping along ever since.

Christmas will be very different this year and so we’re relocating to our youngest daughter’s home for the main meal and time together as a family.

We’ve received lots of Christmas cards from people everywhere – family, friends, colleagues, but I just don’t have what is needed to write out cards and happy wishes to everyone. I hope you can all forgive me.  We love you all but just can’t bring ourselves to sit down and write card after card, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas when feeling merry ourselves feels somewhat distant.  I’m hoping we do have a nice family day but I expect it will have tears accompanying the smiles as we reminisce and share our thoughts and love with one another.

And so, my message here is to you all.  Make sure you spend time with your loved ones as you never know when they might be snatched away from you.  It’s not a thought anyone wants to have but the reality is it does happen.  So savour every moment and don’t let anger or annoyance drag on.  Get over it and get back into loving that person and enjoying life.

In the meantime, if you’d like to see some messages about Christmas, as I have been blogging about what happens here in Melbourne, why not visit MuchAboutMelbourne?

Posted in Family News, My Thoughts | 6 Comments

The “W” in Christmas

I belong to a lovely group of women called Baby Boomer Divas who have been very supportive, loving and prayerful to me during our family time of grief. One of them just sent through this story and it is so lovely that I wanted to share it with you all here. Enjoy!

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Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I had cut back on nonessential obligations – extensive card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas.

My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season for a six year old. For weeks, he’d been memorizing songs for his school’s “Winter Pageant.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d be working the night of the production. Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his teacher. She assured me there’d be a dress rehearsal the morning of the presentation. All parents unable to attend that evening were welcome to come then. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise.

So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw several other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I waited, the students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor. Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song.

Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as “Christmas,” I didn’t expect anything other than fun, commercial entertainment – songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer. So, when my son’s class rose to sing, “Christmas Love,” I was slightly taken aback by its bold title. Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads. Those in the front row- center stage – held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song. As the class would sing “C is for Christmas,” a child would hold up the letter C. Then, “H is for Happy,” and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the complete message, “Christmas Love.”

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter “M” upside down – totally unaware her letter “M” appeared as a “W”. The audience of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one’s mistake. But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding her “W”. Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together. A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen.

In that instant, we understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities. For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear: “CHRISTWAS LOVE” And, I believe, He still is.
— Copyright © 2002 Candy Chand

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Cat on a treadmill – hilarious!

Saw this at Facebook and thought it was really funny. We won’t let our cats near our treadmill for fear they might get their paws caught but perhaps they might do this instead!

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Looking for blog updates?

I don’t write here as often as I used to but I do own several blogs and you’ll find them linked in the blogroll so make sure you check them out! I’ve been doing periodic posts on life in Melbourne, occasionally update my photoblog and even take take photos of the guys (hubby and his mates) when they’re on their mountain bike (MTB) races. They’re called Team Sally so you’ll find occasional posts there too.

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A cat and a horse

Many of our friends know that we’re cat mad and I’ve often added things here about our cats. We also have a horse-mad daughter who lives and breathes horses. Well, I’m sure she will be delighted when she sees this clip – it’s so cute! I have no idea what the song is about though!

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Brief is good

I don’t know how others handle grief when a family member has been lost but I know for my husband and I we prefer to keep the conversations brief.

I’ve gotten to hate the question ‘how are you?’ and yet people ask that without thinking (that is, it’s a question asked but do many really care about the answer?) and many ask it and don’t even know what’s happened in our lives.

How on earth do I answer a question like that?  And I hate telling people what we’ve been going through – we just really want to be left to get on with our lives. I feel like a broken record a lot of the time.

We have a circle of friends and family members we do chat with about our feelings and progress but apart from that, unless we raise the topic, it’s best that people just acknowledge our loss by offering their condolences (if they haven’t already done so) and then follow our lead. If we change the subject – keep it changed.  If we don’t raise the subject when you see us again, then leave it be unless it’s obvious it needs to be discussed.  Repeating the same things over and over and over again, although you might not have heard it before, for us just keeps the pain on the surface when we are trying hard to heal.

If you’ve lost a close loved one perhaps you’d like to share how you coped with your grief in the first few months?

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The Need For Community

Many of you know by now that we recently lost a daughter.  The days and weeks that have passed since then are a blur and we struggle to remember every moment. Some moments we don’t want to remember, others keep coming back uninvited.

Throughout this most dreadful time in our family there has been something that has really stood out – to us and to those who have been on this journey with us. And that is the value of community, and in particular, our church community.

As we sat stunned, trying to process in our minds the reality that we were no longer going to see our beautiful Miriam, our church was in constant contact, different people each day, providing us with cooked meals, ringing or dropping in and checking on us, just being there to talk to, or praying for us and with us.  And there were many more in the background also praying for us.  We later found out that our Pastor and the Pastor who did the funeral service were in daily contact, although our Pastor was away in another state.  Everyone was working towards helping us.  I dread to think how families cope that don’t have others to turn to at a time like this.  We’ve found it very hard all the same.

When I’m going through a difficult time a part of me seems to separate and processes things – it’s almost like I’m two people – one watching the other go through this process.  Perhaps it’s my way of handling the pain during this time of trauma. At any rate it meant I was able to take in the activity of our local community rallying around to help us, and at the same time, the responses and watchfulness of family members and close friends who were also present.  Some of these people I know don’t have such a group of people to rally round them at times of tragedy and I felt for them as I could see their faces taking in all of what was happening.

If you are someone who is alone or perhaps an isolated family, take the time to connect with others around you before you have a need.    When we shifted to Melbourne from Adelaide we had no other family members here and so we connected with a church fairly quickly so we had back up support for our children’s care, friends to spend time with, people to share with.  We’re now in our 3rd church since shifting here late 1991 but the need for community has not lessened, although our children are now grown, and such an event in our family is evidence that a need like this can be unexpected but needed all the same.  I pray, and hope, as you read this, that you do have people you know you can depend on, but if not, I encourage you to reach out and find others you can connect with so you can support them in their time of need and they you.

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New book now available!

I have been working on another book this year and it’s based on a series of God-incidences – real-life stories from a number of contributing authors. And, of course, I have a number of stories in there myself.

The book is now available (as of yesterday) for order and you can read reviews and see who the contributing authors are at the site.  “It Happened By Design” is the title and orders can now be placed.  A couple of the reviews are below.

From the Foreword, to the last word of the last chapter, Kathie Thomas’s latest book, It Happened by Design, captured my attention. I did not stop until I had read the entire book, front to back. The author’s writing style, combined with real-life stories, bring the pages to life. As the contributors told their stories about things that had happened in their lives that some might call co-incidences, but Thomas calls God-incidences, I was reminded of God’s love for each of us, and how nothing happens by accident. It’s all part of His plan. The book captivated my heart, and lifted my spirits. Thomas writes from her heart, and her words inspire the reader to be a better person.

Pamela Archer, President
Archer Fitness Consultants, Inc.
http://www.archerfitpress.wordpress.com

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It Happened by Design contains story after story that illustrate the fact that God is always working. This book is eye-opening and will train you to be more aware of God’s great love for you as He orchestrates the events of your life in a way that only He can. As you ponder the stories in It Happened by Design, you will learn to see God’s fingerprints in every aspect of your life. Prepare to be encouraged!

Rebecca Livermore, Author, Speaker, and Entrepreneur.

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Who are you?

Many of you will know we lost our beloved daughter, Miriam in September.  I can’t say I’ve been very inspired to write much but have been writing to a couple of blogs, not many though.  However, I thought the clip below might inspire many of you.  At a time when you are grieving and wondering what life is about and why these tragedies happen, it’s good to remember that there is someone who does know who you are and loves you, no matter what.

The song is ‘Who Am I?’ by Casting Crowns

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